Humpty Dumpty

The transition has been difficult. Alarm clocks buzzing as they interrupt dreams, 3 blonde haired kids slumping into the kitchen as one frantic Mama makes lunches, and storms everyone out the door. Once everyone is in the car, the kids pick up on the urgency for the light to turn green so they won't be tardy. They sing a chorus of "Turn green. Turn green. Stay green. Stay green..." They arrive at school just in time before the tardy bell. 

I drive home feeling accomplished and recall my growing to do list and ponder what I will tackle. Or maybe I'll blow it off and work on my health instead so I can be glistering in sweat? I do have a marathon on my calendar that will be here before I can tie my running shoe laces in a double knot. 

But instead, I sit. I soak in the silence. I really don't do much but catch up with my friends on social media as I marvel in all their amazing accomplishments. It is the first time, in a long time, that I have felt like an outsider to all of this awesomeness. I want to be out there doing things too but my mind and body threw me a curve ball after running the hottest and most humid 13.1 ever. 

I survived. And didn't end up in the medical tent. But the truth is, I have been feeling exhausted, a bit melancholy, ever since. I have no desire to do much of anything but sit here and rest. 

I am SO Tired.

My chronic fatigue medicine is not helping, I haven't had the energy to exercise, I can't decide what project to tackle first, I have a terrible case of writer's block, my blog posts that I need to write are stacking up, and I'm certain I have a case of runner's block, if there is such a thing. My mind and body are stuck.

I am not depressed. I want to do so much but I simply can't.

I'm in Lyme limbo.

 

I did this to myself, going a hundred miles a minute this summer. Scratch that, like in the last year. Lately, I feel like I've fallen and can't get back up again. I am the energy maker, the go getter, the spontaneous one, in our family. All that energy has gone out the window and I am feeling guilty seeing the sunshine peeking in, as my kids sit inside playing video games. 

"Tomorrow is a new day. A chance to start all over again. I remind myself of this every night. It isn't easy living w/a chronic illness."

The above quote (my quote) is what I tweeted tonight. Not my usual happy go lucky self kind of post. But it is the truth. Chronic Lyme disease kicks me down when I'm not looking. There is no warning and it doesn't play fair. Every day I have to let go of so much. And I can't beat myself up on what didn't get done. That to do list will be there tomorrow. I know I will train for my marathon and for that JFK 50 miler ultra in November. I somehow always get it done and will cross the finish line. Right now, I just need to breathe. And rest.

Meanwhile, I hope my energy returns. I hope the annoying pain in my ankle goes away, I hope that I get my sparkle back on. I hope I find my mojo soon. Being Humpty Dumpty goes against my heart and soul. I am seeking patience and wisdom until all the pieces are put back together again.  

#Giving Tuesday

Today is a very special day.  A day for you to give back to your community. I have organized a fundraiser for #GivingTuesday to benefit the National Capital Lyme Disease Association.

I NEED YOUR HELP! My goal is to reach $2,000. And as a lone fundraiser, this is a lofty goal. No donation is too small and every single $$ is appreciated! *This link will remain active after Dec 3rd. Please help me Take A Bite Out of Lyme Disease!!*

http://www.crowdrise.com/takeabiteoutoflymedisease/fundraiser/amyfitzgerald

The CDC has confirmed 300,000 cases of Lyme Disease in the United States. It is crippling lives and it does not discriminate.  Are you or know someone who is battling Lyme Disease?

My Story and Why this Cause is So Important to Me ~
I have been fighting my own battle with Lyme Disease since I was 25 years old when I woke up one morning feeling paralyzed. It was terrifying not being able to walk. I remember having to fall out of bed and crawl to the bathroom, the morning when my life as I knew it, would drastically change. I spent 6 months on crutches and battled chronic pain and fatigue. I missed work. I couldn't drive because my neck was stiff. I developed iritis in my eye, a painful, inflammatory eye disease. I saw numerous specialists, had gallons of blood drawn, x-rays taken, a CATScan, and a MRI done, and they all came back with no conclusive answer on why I felt like I was dying at such a young age.

I was misdiagnosed. Over and Over again.  First, it was "all in my head" then I had "ankylosing spondylitis" and finally, it was determined I had "fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue," even though I did not technically meet all the criteria for a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. I was given an RX for Celebrex which I chose not to fill. I was told to give up running and to take up a new sport, like swimming. Throughout the years, I would have good days and bad days and kept the crutches close by my bedside.

Finally, in 2010, my Lyme Disease diagnosis was confirmed. I was treated with oral antibiotics for 2 weeks and was discharged from my doctor.  However, a couple of months later, while training for my first marathon, I was extremely fatigued and my wrists and elbows hurt which was a new pain symptom. I was referred to an infectious disease doctor who prescribed oral antibiotics for 30 days.  When I finished the 30 days of antibiotics, supposedly I was "cured."

In 2013, after a year long episode of annoying, unexplained foot pain, I advocated to my doctor for re-testing of  Lyme Disease. The same 3 bands came up positive on my Western Blot that were positive in 2010. My doctor didn't think I had been cured. She said I was battling chronic Lyme Disease. I have taken oral antibiotics for two months and have had to advocate for continued treatment. It is difficult for a doctor to believe you have Lyme Disease symptoms when you can run marathon's. I am currently exploring holistic treatment options and have found acupuncture to be helpful. My infectious disease doctor has said the next step in my treatment plan is IV antibiotics for 30 days. I am hesitant to begin this treatment because I'm signing myself up for 30 days of no running or cross training. These are two key components that I have discovered to help me live a productive life, unlike so many individuals, living with chronic Lyme Disease.

I started running the distance on Thanksgiving Day 2009. It is a significant day in my life because it was the day that I decided it was time to move again. I saw my husband putting on his running shoes and joined my husband on a run, which had become a foreign concept to me. At each 1/2 mile, he nervously asked me if I wanted to turn back and I said "Let's Keep Going!" I ran 5 miles that day and ran my first marathon less than a year later. I believe that running has saved me from a life of pain. But I battle symptoms of annoying, unexplained foot pain, neuro symptoms -such as brain fog and overwhelming fatigue and my gut is so messed up, I only eat protein, green veggies and that is about it. I can't tolerate sugar (sugar is in EVERYTHING) and even my morning cup of java is not enjoyable to sip anymore.

BUT I CAN RUN THE DISTANCE!! My infectious disease doctor says it is "Unbelievable" that someone with chronic Lyme Disease is able to run a 50 Mile race!!  I just completed my 2nd ultra marathon, the JFK 50 Miler on 11/23/13, to raise awareness of Lyme Disease and to fundraise for the National Capital Lyme Disease Association. Here is the link to the fundraiser that will be active until the end of the year:  http://natcaplyme.org/special-events/50th-anniversary-jfk-50-mile.html

Will you please help me "Take a Bite out of Lyme?" Please donate TODAY using the CrowdRise link and let's find a cure to this disease that is destroying lives. 
http://www.crowdrise.com/takeabiteoutoflymedisease/fundraiser/amyfitzgerald

THANK YOU!

National Capital Lyme Disease Association Fundraiser's - 11/22 Sweet Frog Chantilly & JFK 50 Miler Race 11/23

"Taking a Bite Out of Lyme, One Race at a Time!"

 

I am a long distance runner living with chronic Lyme Disease. I believe that running is my "natural antibiotic" and it has given me the ability to run the distance and not live a life of pain and inactivity. I am one of the lucky ones.

 

This Fall, the CDC announced that there are over 300,000 confirmed cases of Lyme Disease in the United States.

 

Lyme Disease is a growing epidemic that needs attention! I have partnered with the National Capital Lyme Disease Association to raise money for this organization. 

I am running the JFK 50 Miler on 11/23, to bring awareness about this horrible disease but to also bring hope to those suffering from Lyme Disease. To learn more about this fundraiser, please click on this link:

JFK 50 Miler Fundraiser for NCLDA

 

Donations can be made until 12/31/13, by using the paypal link on the National Capital Lyme Disease Association's website (please use the above link) or sending a check directly to NatCapLyme at P.O. Box 8211 McLean, VA 22105-8211 and writing "JFK" in the memo section.

 

For those of you that live in Northern VA, I've organized a fundraiser for the National Capital Lyme Disease Association! Please be sweet and support this Sweet Frog Chantilly Fundraiser! 
 

The Sweet Frog fundraiser is TODAY - FRIDAY, 11/22, from 12pm - 10:30pm at 13061 Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy, Fairfax, VA, 22033.

 

*Please be sure to mention the "The National Capital Lyme Disease Association" to the cashier or show this photo/flyer! With each mention, 25% of the receipt will be donated to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association! 

 

*Please leave a comment below if you attend the Sweet Frog Fundraiser or make a donation to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association or would like to share your story about your battle with Lyme Disease!

Thank you for your support! It is greatly appreciated!