Humpty Dumpty

The transition has been difficult. Alarm clocks buzzing as they interrupt dreams, 3 blonde haired kids slumping into the kitchen as one frantic Mama makes lunches, and storms everyone out the door. Once everyone is in the car, the kids pick up on the urgency for the light to turn green so they won't be tardy. They sing a chorus of "Turn green. Turn green. Stay green. Stay green..." They arrive at school just in time before the tardy bell. 

I drive home feeling accomplished and recall my growing to do list and ponder what I will tackle. Or maybe I'll blow it off and work on my health instead so I can be glistering in sweat? I do have a marathon on my calendar that will be here before I can tie my running shoe laces in a double knot. 

But instead, I sit. I soak in the silence. I really don't do much but catch up with my friends on social media as I marvel in all their amazing accomplishments. It is the first time, in a long time, that I have felt like an outsider to all of this awesomeness. I want to be out there doing things too but my mind and body threw me a curve ball after running the hottest and most humid 13.1 ever. 

I survived. And didn't end up in the medical tent. But the truth is, I have been feeling exhausted, a bit melancholy, ever since. I have no desire to do much of anything but sit here and rest. 

I am SO Tired.

My chronic fatigue medicine is not helping, I haven't had the energy to exercise, I can't decide what project to tackle first, I have a terrible case of writer's block, my blog posts that I need to write are stacking up, and I'm certain I have a case of runner's block, if there is such a thing. My mind and body are stuck.

I am not depressed. I want to do so much but I simply can't.

I'm in Lyme limbo.

 

I did this to myself, going a hundred miles a minute this summer. Scratch that, like in the last year. Lately, I feel like I've fallen and can't get back up again. I am the energy maker, the go getter, the spontaneous one, in our family. All that energy has gone out the window and I am feeling guilty seeing the sunshine peeking in, as my kids sit inside playing video games. 

"Tomorrow is a new day. A chance to start all over again. I remind myself of this every night. It isn't easy living w/a chronic illness."

The above quote (my quote) is what I tweeted tonight. Not my usual happy go lucky self kind of post. But it is the truth. Chronic Lyme disease kicks me down when I'm not looking. There is no warning and it doesn't play fair. Every day I have to let go of so much. And I can't beat myself up on what didn't get done. That to do list will be there tomorrow. I know I will train for my marathon and for that JFK 50 miler ultra in November. I somehow always get it done and will cross the finish line. Right now, I just need to breathe. And rest.

Meanwhile, I hope my energy returns. I hope the annoying pain in my ankle goes away, I hope that I get my sparkle back on. I hope I find my mojo soon. Being Humpty Dumpty goes against my heart and soul. I am seeking patience and wisdom until all the pieces are put back together again.  

Lyme Bites - Runner's World Cover Contest

This is a bare bones post. Telling it like it is. No sugar coating. Just real life, living with chronic Lyme disease, written by a Go Getter, Goal Setter, Dream Chaser, Fundraiser, Ultra Marathoner, and Lyme Warrior.

Just before the midnight hour, I took my pup outside and gazed above. I was in search of a shooting star but that search became short lived. There would not be a meteoroid show for me tonight with the significant cloud cover. I decided to call it a night. No time for star gazing. My pillow was calling my name.

But here I am, in utter silence, with my pup practically spooning with me (I know, he shouldn't be sleeping in my bed...it's tick season) but I can't say "No" to a snuggle pup. The hubby is in the Big Apple and I'm restless to write. It has been awhile. A LONG while. I have blog posts started but never finished. Reviews of events that are calling my name. Thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head.

I'm not so sure why I'm having this agonizing case of writer's block. I have plenty of material and inspiration, all around me. I honestly think I am fatigued and need a trip to the beach, where I can begin to heal from the exhaustion. I've been pushing myself really hard for awhile, gasping for air when there is a lull in the activity. My hubby often says "You don't have to do Everything." But if I sit, I become restless. It is difficult to focus. I am amazed at myself at what I do accomplish. But I can feel the lull of my body, veering towards the slow lane. If I ignore this signal and keep going with high speed adrenanline, I will crash and burn.

My everyday struggle with Lyme is tricky to talk about. I like to pretend that "I've got this" when half the time, I start a long distance race or a project, and I have no idea, if I will finish. I just have to Believe that I will accomplish whatever I set my mind to do. I suppose you could say that I am an optimist. I am defying all odds, running crazy ultra marathon distances, finishing the race (all races except for my first attempt at a 100 miler and stopped at 100K distance) remaining injury free, while battling chronic Lyme disease. 

My everyday chronic Lyme struggles, that I fight to overcome, include decision making, word finding, chronic fatigue, and following directions. My GI issues from the Lyme are getting worse too. My appetite has pretty much disappeared. My food intolerance list is getting longer everyday. I went to a party over the weekend and ate steak and vegetables. No Carbs. No Desserts. I took one sip of the wine and had to pour it out. My body wasn't having it. On my "good days" I manage my pain through running and exercise. However, after I have completed a long training run or long distance race, I have to prepare myself because sometimes I crash hard, which is known as "herxing" in the Lyme world. And then, I must rest.

Meanwhile, I am becoming more immersed in this whole Lyme disease underground world. It is fascinating. Hours upon hours, I soak up information to help me understand treatment protocols and the advocacy work that needs to be done. The Lyme disease underground world consists of medical research, protests, advocacy, and treatment. I've learned how Lyme literate doctors are being threatened to be sent to jail for treating Lyme patients, listening to infectious disease doctors openly talking about how the CDC is a government watchdog, carefully monitoring the treatment of Lyme disease patients, Lyme patients pleading for new treatment, or better yet, for a cure, when they have run out of options, and the Google search discovery of Lyme disease symptoms that is a mile long. 

The CDC just announced that there are ONE MILLION American's living with Lyme disease. This number is higher than the number of American's diagnosed with breast cancer last year! 

LYME DISEASE IS A PUBLIC HEALTH EPIDEMIC and the CDC has done nothing to change guidelines for treatment or  fund research for better testing or to find a cure. Meanwhile, one million American lives are slowly falling apart.

I have spontaneously found myself with tears recently. It was during random situations. Once, while driving home from the grocery store, listening to a poetic song. I was tired and had felt overwhelmed at all the decisions that needed to be made, as I passed each food isle. The second time was after dropping off my son, at the first morning of soccer camp, and not being able to find the camp right away. He was a half hour late. I think the tears arrived unannounced because of my frustration. I wish I was never late but I seem to have difficultly with finding new places and time management. Huge chunks of time escape me, no matter how many alarms I set on my smart phone. 

I am feeling the loss of who I wanted to become and realizing who I will never be. My dream was to be a clinical psychologist with my own practice. I had to compromise my dream because I couldn't take the GRE. I went to a graduate school that did not require the GRE and it took FIVE grueling years to receive my Master's in Social Work. And now, I will most likely never be a licensed social worker because NASW has changed the guidelines for accreditation. I have lost credit for all my 100 plus hours of supervision. However, I'm not sweating it. And I refuse to go back. The past is the past. I want to keep moving forward. I am currently studying to become a personal trainer. I have to recreate my life so that it will work for me and allow me to help others, as I battle this debilitating disease, day in and day out. 

This isn't a pity party. This is an awareness post to let others know that living with Lyme isn't easy. There is so much to work to be done. Most Lyme disease patients are too sick to advocate and are viewed by health professionals, as individuals needing mental health treatment, not treatment for the symptoms that have manifested from the Lyme disease lurking in their bodies, for several years. 

The CDC doesn't recognize the existence of chronic Lyme disease.

My daughter has Lyme Disease and I often wonder if I passed this on to her in utero? I'm certain my hubby has it too but he keeps testing negative. Our pup most likely has Lyme because we find a tick on him, at least once a week. I'm terrified of ticks and avoid grass, if, at all possible. I know it sounds absurd but Lyme disease is Everywhere! It's the ticks you don't see, that latch on to your scalp or on your back or behind your ear, that you must fear. We are now learning that mosquitoes, mites, flies, fleas, rabbits, rodents, deer, and birds all carry Lyme disease.

Do check ticks everyday! Wear insect repellant! Wear long pants, long socks and a hat, when you are in the woods or a grassy field! Have your lawn treated!  Do Tick Checks Everyday!!!

Simple precautions to fight back and keep your family safe!

Am I over reacting? I think not. My tears are not only for what my family and I have endured but for the many Lyme patients, and for so many friends, who are lost in the Black Hole. They are the ones who need the most Help. And they need Hope. This is where my running comes in. Every time I run, I think about that place of darkness, when I felt like I was dying and being treated like a guinea pig by the doctors. Not one doctor correctly diagnosed me, 19 years ago. If I only knew back then, what I know now. My mind and body wouldn't have to fight everyday. I might have been given the correct treatment and been cured.

I run to give Hope with those individuals living with Lyme disease and chronic illness. I run to help raise money to fund research for better testing and to discover a cure. I run to make a difference. It is my way of giving back to the community.

And this is what inspired me to enter the Runner's World Cover Contest! I need your help! The contest ends on 8/15.

 Please click here to vote!

You can vote everyday via computer or smart phone. I would love to have the opportunity to bring more awareness about Lyme disease and to give hope to those living with Lyme disease and other chronic illnesses. Thank You so much for your support! 

Peace, Love and Happy Running ~

Amy
#LymeDiseaseWarrior
#RWCoverContest

The gift of Running the Distance

My mind is swimming in a sea of to do lists. I really should write it all down but instead, I choose to work my memory muscles. Writing blog posts has taken a back seat in my life but I miss it, so here I am, at almost 2am, diving into my word therapy. I'm in the final countdown of the biggest race of my life. I am going to have to start prioritizing tasks. It is simply not going to all get done before I head out of town, in a week, to run the Graveyard 100 Miler.

I feel my chronic fatigue settling in during the afternoon and then I get a second wind by the midnight hour. I recently found out that this is common for people living with Lyme Disease. It is almost as if my brain gets rewired by the stillness of the house and the decluttering of my mind from the chaos of my afternoons/evenings, taking care of rugrats and a furry baby. My sleep patterns drive me crazy but I'm not sure I will ever be a morning person. I am envious of my runner friends who can get up at 5:30am and knock out 5 miles to start their day. My body is not functioning on most days until after 8am. Running is usually welcomed after lunchtime.

The miracle is that I manage to get up for every race, exhausted from not sleeping, and to have the courage to start running towards the finish line, while fueled by adrenaline. The more I think about what I do and how I push myself to do it, I realize this running thing is all about training my mind. This is how I know I will finish my first 100 Miler. My body may be in pain but it will not stop me because my mind will ignore it. I may be hungry or thirsty but instead, I will focus on the next step, that will take me to the next mile marker. I will work through temperature issues when I am too hot or too cold and will withstand the discomfort until I can get to the next 20 mile marker aid station to grab whatever I need, from my drop bag. I will push myself with true grit and guts and fight like a girl to get to that finish line. Finishing is not a maybe for me, it is a reality. I've already imagined celebrating my victory and cherishing a prized belt buckle for finishing the most difficult race of my life, nevertheless, running 100 miles uncrewed = no planned human support along the route.

I am afraid but yet, I am not afraid to try. Running has taught me that you can do the impossible if you don't let your fear stop you. Running the distance takes courage, the acceptance that you might fail but more importantly, visualizing your success. When one imagines crossing the finish line so many times, a magical thing happens and somehow your mind takes over your body and through relentless forward motion, you find yourself accomplishing your goal. You must be a leader and go with your heart and not listen to the naysayers who may mean well but really don't have a clue how you got to be in this sweet spot in your life. A spot that I could have only dreamed of until that day I decided to make my fitness dreams a reality. It was a personal decision to want more out of life, to do more, to stop living in my safety bubble, to go outside of my comfort zone. I wanted to push myself where the doctors had told me that I would never go. I wish those doctors that saw me on crutches almost 19 years ago could see me now.

I am running to give hope to those bedridden from Lyme Disease, to those that are feeling hopeless, like their life is over, wondering if this is the end? I was once upon a time there too, in the thickness of the black cloud, wondering if this was it? My life had a huge gap in it but at the time, I was too tired and suffering from too much pain, to make things happen differently. I just wanted one night of rest without having to turn and toss and then struggle with moving my legs in the morning. I have shared my battle with Lyme Disease with many but those that truly understand what I have been through, are the ones who are also fighting this horrible, debilitating, invisible illness, that sucks every ounce of life out of you. The waterworks have begun as I write this. My predication is coming true how my words would become a therapy session, as I remember my life before Running the Distance.

During these last six months, I have been immersed in the world of chronic Lyme Disease. I have taken several courses of antibiotics that have given me temporary relief and experimented with acupuncture which I am finding to be helpful but unfortunately, it is not a cure. I'm learning to accept my disease as it is and grab a hold of the good days and run, soaking every ounce of goodness, out of each moment. I know that I am one of the lucky ones, battling Lyme Disease, who has escaped a life of chronic pain. 

For I have been given the gift of RUNNING the Distance and I am choosing to give back to the Lyme Disease Community by creating awareness by running and fundraising to find a cure. I never want to go back to that black cloud period in my life. It was one of the most hopeless times I've ever experienced. 

I want to encourage others to get up and push through the pain and get moving, releasing the toxins that have invaded their body. I am firm believer that exercise/running is my natural antibiotic against this debilitating disease. Nevertheless, I want to help raise money to find a CURE for those suffering from Chronic/Lyme Disease. It is time for the CDC to wake up and recognize Chronic Lyme Disease as a REAL ILLNESS that has attacked over 300,000 individuals in the United States.

 Can you please join me in helping in the fight against Lyme Disease? Upon request, I will dedicate mile(s) of my race for a Lyme Disease Warrior.

  

• Crowdrise fundraising link:  Running to cure LymeDisease ~ benefiting the National Capital Lyme Disease Association
  

•  Stella and Dot Fundraiser: 30% of your purchase will go to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association to help find a cure for this debilitating disease. Shop on-line, through 2/28, using this link. 

• Local Fundraiser at Dogfish Head Alehouse: Tuesday, March 25th, 12pm-11:30pm; 

13041 Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy, Fairfax, VA 22033  (Greenbriar shopping center)               

*20% of total sales will be donated to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association;

 Just Show Up - No flyer or mention needed!  

**I'm still looking for business sponsors for prizes for a silent auction ** And I'm also looking for an acoustic band to play that evening!**

• Facebook Community Page: Taking a bite out of Lyme Disease
  

 To read more about my Lyme Disease story:

• The Platform Magazine FEB 2014 "Taking a bite out of Lyme Disease, one race at a time."  

• The Mummy Chronicles FEB 2014 "Running the distance while battling Lyme Disease" 

•  Swirlgear "Swirl Sister of the Week" FEB 17, 2014 

Please share this post ~ It would be so appreciated! Thank you for your support, positive vibes and cyber cheers!

Peace, Love and Happy Running, 

Amy

Running for a Cure ~ a 100 Mile Race, to help those with Lyme Disease!

I am going on the most epic journey in one month, March 8th-9th!!

"Your registration for the 2014 GY100 has been successfully recorded. Our participant page is updated manually, please allow 48-72 hours for this change to be reflected on the participant page on-line.
Thank you for signing up for the Graveyard 100

Brandon Wilson
Race Director
Graveyard 100"

This is a race that I have been talking about since last summer when I was shopping around to run a 100 miler. We were taking our annual vacation in the Outer banks (OBX), NC, and having dinner with my brother-n-law and his girlfriend and the subject of the OBX marathon came up. Somehow this conversation evolved to the revelation of a 100 Miler race in the OBX. I started recruiting the locals for my crew, like my bro-n-law, his friends and the most logical recruit, a bartender at the upscale restaurant where my hubby and I had a date night. I was on Cloud Nine, motivated and ready to make my 100 Miler dream come true.

But that all changed when the doctor's phone call came a few days later, as I was soaking up the sunshine and enjoying the roar of the crashing waves. She told me I had tested positive for Lyme Disease and based on the comparison of test results from 2010, my body was never healed from that Lyme Disease diagnosis. She shared her devastating news - I was battling chronic Lyme Disease. An illness that I will most likely struggle with my whole life.

Scratch that hope of running a 100 Miler. 

And as my Fall 2013 race season begin, I pushed myself to the very limits, relentlessly, over and over again, as I ran a half marathon in September and then, ran long distance races consecutively, for four weeks in October. I was thankful for a few weeks of rest between the Marine Corps Marathon and the JFK 50 Miler.

And then something amazing happened! I felt really good, almost too good, after finishing the JFK 50 and remember blurting out to my friend, who was pacing me, "we are already at Mile 49??!" I remember last year, when I ran the JFK 50, how those last 12 miles were torture and each mile seemed endless.

After my strong finish (with a 19 minute PR!), my body needed to recover but I became somewhat restless. I decided to sign up last minute for the Dopey Challenge, running for the charity, No Kid Hungry, with a month before the race! And again, I challenged myself with four consecutive races, a 5K, 10K, Half Marathon and a Full Marathon, a total of 48.6 miles. My body felt strong and it did not fail me. I played somewhat during the races, stopping for character photo's and a roller coaster ride but I was pushing myself with lack of sleep and multiple days of racing. And I got it done because I believed in myself!

The fleeting thought of running a 100 Mile race in 2014 began to surface again. I found a race in September that was in another state but easy to get there by car. The race is in PA and it is not until September. My friend, who I met while filming the "Running" episode on HBO VEEP, was running this one, as well as some runners I knew in my running group, Reston Runners, who I ran with at the JFK 50 Miler.

But it still didn't feel right and I hesitated registering. I wasn't sure if this was the right race for me. I kept thinking about that 100 Miler at the beach. The place where my heart and soul come alive.

Last week, the e-mail appeared. One of my running mentor's said she had taken her friend's transfer bib for the Graveyard 100 in the Outer banks and asked if I was running this one. She remembered me trying to recruit her to run it with me for 2014. This runner girl is also the same friend who I have told that I wanted to run my first 100 Miler with because she is an experienced 100 Miler runner and knows what it takes to get to the finish line. The Universe had aligned to make this happen for me and I decided to go for it!


I registered for the GY 100 with the mind frame that I will finish. I am running with chronic Lyme Disease so I will have to pace myself carefully and listen to my body. We will have 30 hours to finish the race. After completing the 100 Miler, I will be in Virginia Beach the following weekend, running the Shamrock marathon!


This 100 Mile race is bigger than me. I am running for all those individual's afflicted by Lyme Disease. I am running to give them hope and courage to begin moving again! This is the beginning towards a path of hope and healing.




I have partnered with the National Capital Lyme Disease Association to raise money for this organization. It is my hope that the money I raise by running this 100 Mile race, and subsequent races in 2014, will help find a cure to this devastating illness. I have set up a fundraising link on Crowdrise: Running to cure Lyme Disease fundraiser


Please support me in my 100 Mile Journey and help me "Take a bite out of Lyme, one race at a time" by making a donation to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association! It is SO appreciated!

I have created a Facebook page to create awareness about Lyme Disease, to provide encouragement to those battling this illness and to post my 2014 fundraising events/races. I hope you can join the conversation on Facebook: Taking a bite out of Lyme Disease


Please share this post, my Crowdrise link and my Facebook page! It would be so appreciated! Thank you for your support, positive vibes and cyber cheers!

Peace, Love and Happy Running!
Amy






 

Courage, Dreams and Pixie Dust

It is the eve before the alarm clocks awake the house at sunrise and the kids will hit the snooze button, over and over again. Meanwhile, the parents will shuffle downstairs to make their morning java and guzzle it down, while scrambling to make their kids lunches. Fueled by caffeine, the parents will become boot camp instructors and shout "Hurry Up" on to deaf ears.

In less than 8 hours, the kids will be back in school after a two week, looong break. The below freezing temps have made us hibernate and we are all beginning to lose our sanity. After noticing that we let two full days pass without getting out of our PJ's, the kids declared that "PJ's Rule" and if you aren't leaving the house, then why bother to change? Smart kids, my hubby and I have raised.

But as much as I have enjoyed my lazy days of waking up at a time when it didn't make sense to eat breakfast because it was so close to noon and wearing my favorite purple polka dot fleece PJ's, that should come with a warning label that if you wear them, you will not got anything done, I'm ready to get moving again!

I am sluggish, eating crap food, drank too many glasses of vino, and I'm in pain. The pain part is what scares me. I have fallen off the exercise wagon and I feel like I am dying. I am not exaggerating. When I wake up, I think I need to go the doctor's to get blood work to make sure the "C" word has not snuck inside my body but then I remember that I don't have "C" because I have "LD." And if you are brand new to my blog or being introduced to my world, "LD" does not stand for Learning Disability. I have chronic Lyme Disease.

I chose not to get the IV antibiotic treatment so I could exercise and continue running at least 3x a week. In the last couple of weeks, I've been lucky if I pushed myself out the door, while wearing my running shoes and not my fuzzy socks. And sometimes I surprise myself and actually get out there and run the distance when I expected I would fall to the ground after Mile 3.

After finishing the JFK 50 Miler in November, I felt incredible (and yes, I promise to write that race recap and the one from 2012 too)! So what did I do, I went and signed up to run a marathon for charity, No Kid Hungry through Dream Come True Vacations. I'm also running a 5K, a 10K and a Half marathon prior to the Marathon, in four consecutive days. I'm running the inaugural Dopey Challenge at the most magical place on Earth, Walt Disney World!

Here is my fundraising page if you would like to donate: 
http://join.nokidhungry.org/site/TR/Events/DD-IndieRaiser?px=2882634&pg=personal&fr_id=1220

Thank you for your support and for helping kids receive a healthy meal!

I am leaving on Wednesday and have a million things to do, like pack my suitcase, which is the one thing I absolutely hate doing because of all the decisions you have to make like deciding which FOUR race outfits I'm going to pack!! I confess to ordering four new running "costume" skirts that are being shipped to the hotel but do I wear tank tops? Arm sleeves? Short sleeves? My Swirlgear?

I'm going to need positive vibes and prayers sent my way. I'm going to have to be Fierce, Determined and Courageous to run 48.6 miles in 4 days. I will have a fabulously fun time but I need to start believing in myself that I can do this!!

I hate the fact that I have chronic "LD." And that I will struggle for the rest of my life to accomplish "the impossible." I am not giving up. I have hit a road block in my training but I will persevere. I always have and will continue to do so. However, I'm secretly hoping to run into Tinkerbell so that she can sprinkle some magic pixie dust on me!

 

"All of our Dreams can come true

if we have the courage to pursue them."

~ Walt Disney quote

#Giving Tuesday

Today is a very special day.  A day for you to give back to your community. I have organized a fundraiser for #GivingTuesday to benefit the National Capital Lyme Disease Association.

I NEED YOUR HELP! My goal is to reach $2,000. And as a lone fundraiser, this is a lofty goal. No donation is too small and every single $$ is appreciated! *This link will remain active after Dec 3rd. Please help me Take A Bite Out of Lyme Disease!!*

http://www.crowdrise.com/takeabiteoutoflymedisease/fundraiser/amyfitzgerald

The CDC has confirmed 300,000 cases of Lyme Disease in the United States. It is crippling lives and it does not discriminate.  Are you or know someone who is battling Lyme Disease?

My Story and Why this Cause is So Important to Me ~
I have been fighting my own battle with Lyme Disease since I was 25 years old when I woke up one morning feeling paralyzed. It was terrifying not being able to walk. I remember having to fall out of bed and crawl to the bathroom, the morning when my life as I knew it, would drastically change. I spent 6 months on crutches and battled chronic pain and fatigue. I missed work. I couldn't drive because my neck was stiff. I developed iritis in my eye, a painful, inflammatory eye disease. I saw numerous specialists, had gallons of blood drawn, x-rays taken, a CATScan, and a MRI done, and they all came back with no conclusive answer on why I felt like I was dying at such a young age.

I was misdiagnosed. Over and Over again.  First, it was "all in my head" then I had "ankylosing spondylitis" and finally, it was determined I had "fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue," even though I did not technically meet all the criteria for a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. I was given an RX for Celebrex which I chose not to fill. I was told to give up running and to take up a new sport, like swimming. Throughout the years, I would have good days and bad days and kept the crutches close by my bedside.

Finally, in 2010, my Lyme Disease diagnosis was confirmed. I was treated with oral antibiotics for 2 weeks and was discharged from my doctor.  However, a couple of months later, while training for my first marathon, I was extremely fatigued and my wrists and elbows hurt which was a new pain symptom. I was referred to an infectious disease doctor who prescribed oral antibiotics for 30 days.  When I finished the 30 days of antibiotics, supposedly I was "cured."

In 2013, after a year long episode of annoying, unexplained foot pain, I advocated to my doctor for re-testing of  Lyme Disease. The same 3 bands came up positive on my Western Blot that were positive in 2010. My doctor didn't think I had been cured. She said I was battling chronic Lyme Disease. I have taken oral antibiotics for two months and have had to advocate for continued treatment. It is difficult for a doctor to believe you have Lyme Disease symptoms when you can run marathon's. I am currently exploring holistic treatment options and have found acupuncture to be helpful. My infectious disease doctor has said the next step in my treatment plan is IV antibiotics for 30 days. I am hesitant to begin this treatment because I'm signing myself up for 30 days of no running or cross training. These are two key components that I have discovered to help me live a productive life, unlike so many individuals, living with chronic Lyme Disease.

I started running the distance on Thanksgiving Day 2009. It is a significant day in my life because it was the day that I decided it was time to move again. I saw my husband putting on his running shoes and joined my husband on a run, which had become a foreign concept to me. At each 1/2 mile, he nervously asked me if I wanted to turn back and I said "Let's Keep Going!" I ran 5 miles that day and ran my first marathon less than a year later. I believe that running has saved me from a life of pain. But I battle symptoms of annoying, unexplained foot pain, neuro symptoms -such as brain fog and overwhelming fatigue and my gut is so messed up, I only eat protein, green veggies and that is about it. I can't tolerate sugar (sugar is in EVERYTHING) and even my morning cup of java is not enjoyable to sip anymore.

BUT I CAN RUN THE DISTANCE!! My infectious disease doctor says it is "Unbelievable" that someone with chronic Lyme Disease is able to run a 50 Mile race!!  I just completed my 2nd ultra marathon, the JFK 50 Miler on 11/23/13, to raise awareness of Lyme Disease and to fundraise for the National Capital Lyme Disease Association. Here is the link to the fundraiser that will be active until the end of the year:  http://natcaplyme.org/special-events/50th-anniversary-jfk-50-mile.html

Will you please help me "Take a Bite out of Lyme?" Please donate TODAY using the CrowdRise link and let's find a cure to this disease that is destroying lives. 
http://www.crowdrise.com/takeabiteoutoflymedisease/fundraiser/amyfitzgerald

THANK YOU!

National Capital Lyme Disease Association Fundraiser's - 11/22 Sweet Frog Chantilly & JFK 50 Miler Race 11/23

"Taking a Bite Out of Lyme, One Race at a Time!"

 

I am a long distance runner living with chronic Lyme Disease. I believe that running is my "natural antibiotic" and it has given me the ability to run the distance and not live a life of pain and inactivity. I am one of the lucky ones.

 

This Fall, the CDC announced that there are over 300,000 confirmed cases of Lyme Disease in the United States.

 

Lyme Disease is a growing epidemic that needs attention! I have partnered with the National Capital Lyme Disease Association to raise money for this organization. 

I am running the JFK 50 Miler on 11/23, to bring awareness about this horrible disease but to also bring hope to those suffering from Lyme Disease. To learn more about this fundraiser, please click on this link:

JFK 50 Miler Fundraiser for NCLDA

 

Donations can be made until 12/31/13, by using the paypal link on the National Capital Lyme Disease Association's website (please use the above link) or sending a check directly to NatCapLyme at P.O. Box 8211 McLean, VA 22105-8211 and writing "JFK" in the memo section.

 

For those of you that live in Northern VA, I've organized a fundraiser for the National Capital Lyme Disease Association! Please be sweet and support this Sweet Frog Chantilly Fundraiser! 
 

The Sweet Frog fundraiser is TODAY - FRIDAY, 11/22, from 12pm - 10:30pm at 13061 Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy, Fairfax, VA, 22033.

 

*Please be sure to mention the "The National Capital Lyme Disease Association" to the cashier or show this photo/flyer! With each mention, 25% of the receipt will be donated to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association! 

 

*Please leave a comment below if you attend the Sweet Frog Fundraiser or make a donation to the National Capital Lyme Disease Association or would like to share your story about your battle with Lyme Disease!

Thank you for your support! It is greatly appreciated!

 

Embrace the Race

I am writing this at my chiro's office while receiving my weekly "maintenance" treatment, ever since embarking on an epic Fall race schedule!  I have a few minutes before the doctor arrives so I thought I'd take advantage of my "free" time and my blogger app!

This month alone might be the highest mileage that I have ever ran in one month.  I would know for sure if I had only kept tabs on my mileage.  But I am a runner who doesn't get caught up in the number's game.  I simply enjoy the experience of lacing up, getting out there and being free.

I want to write race re-caps on the fast and fun Philly Rock-n-Roll Half that I ran in Sept, and for October, the epic DC Ragnar Relay, the amazing Chicago marathon, and most recently, the slow and steady Army Ten Miler!  On Sunday, I will run the Marine Corps Marathon - my 3rd MCM/6th marathon!  And next month will be my finale Fall race - the JFK 50 Miler!  It will be my second one and I will be attempting to shave off 2 hours of my time from last year.   I must do this in order to finish in the allotted time of 12 hours and not get pulled off the race course.  Last year, I finished the JFK 50, my first ultra, with three minutes to spare!

And I am running all these races with crazy obstacles to overcome, such as diagnosis' of pneumonia and chronic Lyme Disease.  I have been on antibiotics for one month and just began another month of antibiotic treatment. I don't like to discuss the next steps for chronic Lyme Disease treatment which involves IV antibiotics for one month and no running. 

However, I remain hopeful that my current treatment is working despite the fatigue I feel after each race. I embrace my rest days to recover.  After crossing each finish line, I am feeling stronger and believe that I am making a "comeback" in my race times.  I haven't had a PR yet but my times are much better than last Fall/this past Spring, when I suffered from extreme, debilitating pain in my left foot, most likely caused by the chronic Lyme. 

My goal with each race is not a PR (personal record) because then I wouldn't be able to run naked!  In the running world that means not running with a GPS watch!  My goal is to embrace the race and cherish all the goodness that each race brings!  For me, it is important to finish strong or "Swirl Strong," a tagline that me and my Swirl Sister's - my fellow Swirlgear Brand Ambassador's - like to use, when we celebrate our athletic accomplishments!

With my two most challenging races approaching quickly, I would appreciate any good vibes and cyber cheers you can send my way!  They are greatly appreciated! 

Lyme Bites...Disecting the Lyme Disease diagnosis

I feel like a tidal wave has swept over me and I am gulping for air, desperately trying to reach the surface.  The more I learn about Lyme Disease, the more I become OVERWHELMED.

I thought I had this Lyme Disease thing all figured out.  I thought I knew what Lyme felt like.  After all, I had it four summers ago.  You have a bulls eye rash (which I never had), chronic fatigue and joint pain.  The End.  I'm learning that is not the end of the story.  Here is a comprehensive list of Lyme Symptoms and Lyme Coinfection Chart You may need to sit down and grab a cup of coffee before reading. 

Since finding out that I have Chronic Lyme Disease, almost two weeks ago, I've soaked up as much information as I can about what this all means??  After all, I don't feel as sick as the people in the Lyme Disease Support Group that I joined on-line.  What is my take away from my recent diagnosis?  Do I give up and go back to bed after getting the kids to school?  Or do I continue to fight?  Before the diagnosis, I just accepted this as a way of life, the annoying, nagging symptoms.  I have been fighting for over TWENTY YEARS...in one way or another.  My body has fought hard to become disabled but EVERYTIME I would fall down, I'd pull myself up and then, go forward.

I feel like I am not sure what to believe.  I think I am in denial.  I don't want to call myself a "Lymie." I have worked too hard to find the light again.  I have discovered my passion for living every second, of every day.  The thought of how much energy is going to be consumed to fight this disease simply exhausts me.  Can't I just go on living my life in a way that masks my symptoms through exercise and endorphins and medicine for chronic fatigue or do I want to try and get every ounce back of my life that I can?

I will never be a Vice President of some big whig company, much less the PTA President but there is still so much I want to accomplish!  With this revelation about the fact that I have Lyme and most likely, several co-infections, I need to continue practicing flexibility and accept my "bad days" as a product of the Lyme lurking inside of my body.  I know what I want to do and want to finish what I've started. I can write and want to publish my two novels.  Two novels that speak honestly about very painful moments in my life and how I came out of the darkness.  I aspire to give hope to those who believe there is nothing to look forward to. I want to share my passion for fitness with others.  I want to create a safe environment for people who want to work on their mind and body.  I want to create a holistic business model, combining my love for fitness and running, as well as, my counseling skills. 

photo credit: Lyme Disease Awareness

“We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces.”

 

We must all go through this journey together.  We all carry around soul stories of sadness, pain, and loneliness.  However, we must combine those stories with hope, courage, and kindness or else, we may never experience pure happiness again.

I have been living with a chronic illness for half of my life.  So being told I have chronic Lyme is not going to change the way I live my life but it does take my breathe away as I try to wrap my mind around what this diagnosis exactly means and what treatment option to pursue.  I steer clear of prescription medicine as much as possible and the thought of being on endless months of antibiotics does not excite me.  But if the medicine clears my brain fog to help me think more clearly, restores my energy so I don't have to take a magic pill, helps me gain back the joy of eating, relieves me of random pain, deep in the tissues of my body, then I need to acknowledge the diagnosis and go forward fearlessly.  Just like I do, when I run towards the finish line in my long distance races.

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting." ~ Napoleon Hill

photo credit: ounewsbureau.com

 

Did you say "Lemon Disease?"

After a very long day, I am writing a new blog post.  One with not so good news that I received from my doctor earlier today.  I've been trying to wrap my head around what it means.  It is not a life threatening condition but wondering if it is too late for treatment to be effective?

It was late afternoon, 3:48pm to be exact, when the message was left.  An afternoon of playing on the beach and my world was good until I heard "the message." It had been two weeks since the blood test and I simply had pushed it out of my head.  I assumed that the test was negative, until now...
I hit the play button.

"This is Dr. XX and I am calling about your blood test.  I know it took me awhile to call you back but I needed to run another test. I need you to call me today or if it is too late, then tomorrow. And please have me paged."

Boom.  Of course my mind starts racing and I try my best to not freak out but honestly, I haven't felt well in awhile, like years, and it is almost like this self filling prophecy that your days are limited so I suck every moment possible out of every single day...

I call back and wait FOREVER for someone to get someone else to page the doctor.  It's amazing how in a situation like this one, five minutes turns into an eternity.  I am practicing inhaling and exhaling and tell myself not to forget to breathe, just like I tell my students to do in my strength training/boot camp class.  And then she says "Hello." And asks how I'm doing and how I'm feeling and my heart is going to jump out of my chest.

I calmly think to myself "I'm glad it's me that tested "positive" and not my 7 year old daughter whose x-rays came back negative for scoliosis."  We were tested on the same day, before leaving for our family two week beach vacation.

I am expecting to hear this awful diagnosis or how she needs to run more tests to rule out the evil "C" word. Call me morbid but I can't even begin to tell you how the evil "C" word has touched my life these past few years. Just this morning, my grief came flooding into my world, when I least expected it, as I remembered my beautiful, young friend, my kids God Mother, who lost her battle and is now an angel.  And I thought of a friend who recently fought her battle and WON. I also thought of two people very close to me who have been fighting and now they are waiting, living each day, thankfully.  And another friend, a sorority sister who has just begun her chemo treatments, as we try and lift her up with encouraging words and prayers. There is not a day that goes by that the evil "C" word does not haunt me.

 

                                              

                                             photo credit: Yvette from Muy Bueno

                                             quote credit: Jennie from In Jennie's Kitchen

"What?  I need to see an infectious disease doctor?" I ask, as I force my mind to focus on her words.  She says she can't hear me and I explain it is because the waves are crashing.  And I walk towards the upper part of the beach where it is quieter and I can get my grounding and I ask my question again.

She explains that my case is complicated.  She thinks I would benefit from treatment but I may have had Lyme's Disease for over THREE years.  The treatment I received in October of 2010, right before running my first marathon, the Marine Corp Marathon, may not have cured my infection.  My current Lyme test is an EXACT replica of when I tested positive in June 2010.  I took a course of antibiotics and still didn't feel right so that is when I received a second round in early October 2010. Fatigue plaqued me and my joints were sore.  I chalked it up to my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.  Two diagnosis' that I received in my mid twenties when one morning I woke up and was temporarily paralyzed from the waist down.  I have a high tolerance for pain is an understatement.
 

                                        photo credit: Ads of the World

What the doctor was saying, made sense. She was concerned about my chronic foot pain that is primarily in one joint. She wants fluid drained from it and have it tested.  (um, doesn't she know I have an Epic Fall race schedule and don't have time for a surgical procedure??) 

I thought my foot had been healed but the pain has slowly returned as my Fall race training rev'd up. Which is really more like in slow gear.  My energy for long runs is difficult to muster so I've been going out there but not doing the mileage I should.  And then my mind takes me to a different place.

How long have I been battling this "Lemon Disease?" The term my husband used when he would joke around this summer when I thought he had Lyme's.  

I thought about how I didn't start running the distance until Thanksgiving Day 2009.  5 Miles in one shot.  I couldn't go down stairs for a week.  But in less than a year, I ran my first 26.2!!  I was nervous as hell but I did it and felt great and wanted to keep running as I crossed the Finish Line. That was when the first thought of running an ultra ran through my mind. And I just kept running through the years.  Through the Lyme, the joint pain, the fatigue, the brain fog, the dizziness, the lack of sleep, the tears, and I ran.  Nothing was going to stop me.

 

                                   I run To Be Free.

And I will continue to run because I believe Running is what has SAVED me.  I've read the horror stories.  I shouldn't be able to do what I do if I have lived with this Terrible disease invading my body for over three years!!
 

I am in awe.  I really am.  What could I accomplish if I truly FELT GOOD?? I am an optimist and will believe that it is not too late to become healthy again. I will rely on my Faith to carry me through this obstacle.  I have faced so many challenges throughout my life and as I come through each one, I am stronger than ever before.  This time will not be any different.

Photo and Artwork by my Amazing 10 year old daughter!  I'm proudly modeling my Swirlgear!  http://www.swirlgear.com 

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