Tuesday, October 17, 2023

PIVOTING

 PIVOTING


Hello. The world is in chaos and I'm writing. I haven't logged on in YEARS. I miss this, but I admit, I've been scared to face the keyboard and let my thoughts pour. 

How Are You????

When I was driving home tonight, after engaging in enlighting conversations, I was cursing out loud. I won't repeat the exact words but somehow, someway, the curse words changed to the phrase... 

"That's what I do. PIVOT."

Normally, on a night like this, when my emotions are at an all time high and my mind is moving like a bullet train in Tokyo, I'd be dancing by myself. I don't know why this evening, now early morn, is different. 

I've been hesistant to share. The judgement can be harsh. I'd rather live my life as I wish and carry on. I can't even begin to divulge the life experiences that have wrapped me up and spit me out, as I've navigated the art of Pivoting.

I actually decided to be scholarly and look up the definitation of "PIVOT." EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN DEFINITION MENTIONED THE WORD "BUSINESS" and NOT THE HUMAN SPIRIT. What is that? Our Psychology 101 college courses need to be edited, STAT! Immediately. For this is the only way we will survive this trauma induced, chaos world is by learning how to PIVOT.

I can't spill my secrets on my approach to writing but I can share, right now, I'm breaking every rule. To survive, we must learn how to analyze and realize when it's time to turn around, touch your toes, do jumping jacks, maybe a burpee or two, to impress yourslf, and of course, add a push up, and run a mile,  mixed into the spontaneous routine of life.

Be strong. Be confident. Know right from wrong. 

But in a chaotic, mixed up message filled world, your head can begin to spin. And then you just want to freeze and do nothing. It's like you are stuck in a pile of concrete and you want to move but you can't. The situation seems hopeless.

How Are You?

I've experienced SO MUCH TRAUMA in my life that very few know about. And just when there was a light guiding me, in the direction of everyday happiness, one of my best friends disappeared without a trace, the world shut down, my dad died, my chronic/fatigue invaded my body with a vengeance, and I've been on strike for, let's see...95 days. And that's just what I've personally had to sort through, dig myself out, and PIVOT. 

The world is a mess right now and each day, I try my best to navigate positivity and joy, but it is really (curse word) hard.  You lnow that my husband dosen't like it when I swear. But when I'm angry or upset, I give myself permission.

I want you to know that you can PIVOT too. Practice the art of pivoting everyday and your days will begin to feel differently. You will slowly, but surely, rise from the aftermath and do better in this world, after absorbing the grief that engulfs each and everyone of us, thrashing your emotions, and trying your best to comprehend the reasoning behind the unnecessary suffering. This is why I was never the scholarly type.

I never said, ignore. 

Repeat after me "I can PIVOT."

But HOW? You have a voice, you can listen, you can advocate, you can stay still and meditate and empathize, you can be a changemaker, a fundraiser, or a donor. Just don't stay still in the concrete.

That is all. 

Good Night.

Wake Up.

Go PIVOT.


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