Sunday, October 7, 2012

Punch Card in Life

I am looking at the clock and thinking why am I awake?  I have felt the need to write all week and have denied myself this creative pleasure.  I often think that that when I write, the words must flow endlessly, like a perfect lullaby, when instead, I realize, I just need to let go and type.  I have so much too say and wonder everyday, how much time do I have left to send these messages into cyber space?

For the last year or so, really incredible things have happened to me and continue to do so.  I'm talking about experiences that are once in a lifetime, unique.  But I don't live in a fancy city or have a fancy job or interact daily with fancy people.  I am just a Twingles Mom.  Living the daily grind, in the suburbs.  My life is supposed to be comprised of suburbia activities, like canvassing grocery isles, cooking creative crock pot meals, making dents in the laundry pile, playing taxi driver for the kids play dates, soccer practices, gymnastics and their other endless activities.  However, this doesn't mean I have to turn away an opportunity of play, when it comes my way. 

                          This blog isn't about bragging rights, it is about your punch card in life. 

For so long, I believed that once I became a mom, my life would be complete.  The journey to have a family was filled with Heartbreak, Hope, and finally, Hallelujah x3!  I have not known greater joy than experiencing life with my children. The first embrace with each one was filled with overwhelming emotions and I recognize that each day is a gift.  But something was missing when my youngest daughter began preschool and my twins boarded the bus for kindergarten. 

Once I embraced the idea that I had more to offer to the world than motherhood, I realized there was a whole world to discover.  I literally ran out the door that day and have not stopped running.  I wake up every day with excitement and wonder how I can turn my day into an amazing one?  I opened the door of opportunity and I keep running forward.  However, sometimes, deep inside, I wonder, if my punch card in life is almost complete?  With each new experience, I keep saying, "this is it" - the one moment I'll remember forever, and then, without any expectation, the universe sends me along to another unique life experience! 

I have seen things people are never supposed to see, a lot of death and dying.  Thanks to the endless hours I spent in the ER, as a trauma social worker.  I am uber protective of my kids.  I have said goodbye to too many precious friends who were just beginning to live life.  Each day, I am keenly aware that we can only rely on the very moment you are living and nothing else. 

I know I drive my husband crazy with my endless activities and travel requests.  He doesn't understand why I am not a homebody.  And I know my babysitters wonder why I'm going to endless concerts and to meet and greets with the band.  And my kids ask "mommy, where are you going now?" as I pack for a trip to New York City to go run a marathon.  I know there are people who don't agree with my high energy lifestyle...but I'm not at the age where I really wonder what others think about me. 

                                     I am LIVING life and relishing every opportunity.
It is now waaay past the midnight hour.  So, I will leave you with one more thought to ponder, the most important one of all.  For it is how I strive to live this journey of life and I truly believe "my amazing luck" is instead, only kindness floating back my way. 

My punch card in life has truly been extraordinary.

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