Friday, September 6, 2013

Lyme Bites...Disecting the Lyme Disease diagnosis

I feel like a tidal wave has swept over me and I am gulping for air, desperately trying to reach the surface.  The more I learn about Lyme Disease, the more I become OVERWHELMED.

I thought I had this Lyme Disease thing all figured out.  I thought I knew what Lyme felt like.  After all, I had it four summers ago.  You have a bulls eye rash (which I never had), chronic fatigue and joint pain.  The End.  I'm learning that is not the end of the story.  Here is a comprehensive list of Lyme Symptoms and Lyme Coinfection Chart You may need to sit down and grab a cup of coffee before reading. 

Since finding out that I have Chronic Lyme Disease, almost two weeks ago, I've soaked up as much information as I can about what this all means??  After all, I don't feel as sick as the people in the Lyme Disease Support Group that I joined on-line.  What is my take away from my recent diagnosis?  Do I give up and go back to bed after getting the kids to school?  Or do I continue to fight?  Before the diagnosis, I just accepted this as a way of life, the annoying, nagging symptoms.  I have been fighting for over TWENTY one way or another.  My body has fought hard to become disabled but EVERYTIME I would fall down, I'd pull myself up and then, go forward.

I feel like I am not sure what to believe.  I think I am in denial.  I don't want to call myself a "Lymie." I have worked too hard to find the light again.  I have discovered my passion for living every second, of every day.  The thought of how much energy is going to be consumed to fight this disease simply exhausts me.  Can't I just go on living my life in a way that masks my symptoms through exercise and endorphins and medicine for chronic fatigue or do I want to try and get every ounce back of my life that I can?

I will never be a Vice President of some big whig company, much less the PTA President but there is still so much I want to accomplish!  With this revelation about the fact that I have Lyme and most likely, several co-infections, I need to continue practicing flexibility and accept my "bad days" as a product of the Lyme lurking inside of my body.  I know what I want to do and want to finish what I've started. I can write and want to publish my two novels.  Two novels that speak honestly about very painful moments in my life and how I came out of the darkness.  I aspire to give hope to those who believe there is nothing to look forward to. I want to share my passion for fitness with others.  I want to create a safe environment for people who want to work on their mind and body.  I want to create a holistic business model, combining my love for fitness and running, as well as, my counseling skills. 

photo credit: Lyme Disease Awareness

“We all at certain times in our lives find ourselves broken. True strength is found in picking up the pieces.”
We must all go through this journey together.  We all carry around soul stories of sadness, pain, and loneliness.  However, we must combine those stories with hope, courage, and kindness or else, we may never experience pure happiness again.

I have been living with a chronic illness for half of my life.  So being told I have chronic Lyme is not going to change the way I live my life but it does take my breathe away as I try to wrap my mind around what this diagnosis exactly means and what treatment option to pursue.  I steer clear of prescription medicine as much as possible and the thought of being on endless months of antibiotics does not excite me.  But if the medicine clears my brain fog to help me think more clearly, restores my energy so I don't have to take a magic pill, helps me gain back the joy of eating, relieves me of random pain, deep in the tissues of my body, then I need to acknowledge the diagnosis and go forward fearlessly.  Just like I do, when I run towards the finish line in my long distance races.

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting." ~ Napoleon Hill

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